The Beauty of Being Lost

After moving to a new apartment last week, I had a moment sitting on my new couch where I just felt lost. It was not that I did not know who I was or what I was doing, but rather, I felt that I lost who I was in relation to the world. This happens to me every few months when I have a huge change in my life, such as a new apartment.

This feeling of being lost and not knowing my purpose with the world is something that I welcome in my life. I take the times when I feel lost to figure out why I am feeling lost and re-identify what is truly important to me. Even though it puts me in some distress during the days where I feel this feeling, looking back, I feel that there is great beauty in the feeling.

I truly feel that without these few days of being lost in the world and not knowing your specific purpose is important for personal development – without it, I think that we can lose ourselves even more. I know that after I finished a huge project last fall, I felt lost for weeks because I did not know my purpose in life without that project. Looking back, I now see the importance of feeling lost for so long – I was able to really figure out what the world meant to me and how I could continue to contribute to the betterment of the world.

One of my favorite lyrics right now is by Coldplay where they say “I’d rather be a comma, than a full stop” from the song, Every Teardrop is a Waterfall. I think that that quote is the perfect way to describe the beauty of life and the clarity that being lost can provide an individual.

Music and Memories

My absolute favorite thing to do is listen to a band nonstop for a full month or so. Then when I know the songs well enough and have listened to them dozens of times, I go to a new band or a new album. I do this because when I find a song that I like, I want to listen to it over and over again. And I want to see if that same band can create even more songs that make me that excited.

But what I love even more is when I have shuffle on my iTunes on and one of the songs that I listened to nonstop for a month comes on and I remember vivid memories from that month. I have it with almost every band on my iTunes that I listen to and the days when my it is on shuffle are my absolute favorite.

I remember thoughts and feelings that I had when I listened to Jukebox the Ghost nonstop last fall. I remember reading the book Speak by Laurie Halse Anderson as I listened to Switchfoot’s The Beautiful Letdown album. I remember my excitement at the beginning of junior year of high school when I listen to Death Cab for Cutie. I remember last summer when I listen to OneRepublic when I realized that I am an adult and I was excited for the awareness. I listened to Sherwood at the end of freshman year of college when I decided I wanted to change my priorities and focus on academics and student involvement while in college.

Most recently, I rediscovered one of my favorite bands when I was just fifteen. I listened to The Format my sophomore year of high school when I had a crush on this boy. And last week, I discovered that Nate Ruess of The Format created a new band and that they were still making music. The band, Fun, has been the most wonderful band to listen to because it is a new sound and feeling that I get from when I listened to The Format, but I can personally tell how much I have grown since that time. Five years after I discovered that band, Nate’s voice brings me back to memories of hope and butterflies in the stomach, but I feel so much stronger and wiser now. The music of the band Fun has created a wonderful reminiscent feel without knowing what the music is about yet.

I am a very reflective person, and so listening to music that reminds me of any particular time in my life makes me extremely happy. Even if I make conclusions about my past and figure out what I learned from the moment, listening to the music helps me to see my motivation, my reasoning, my thought process before making a decision. And I think that helps me to be an even more reflective person.

I am also able to see personal growth. And I absolutely love the feeling of knowing that I am a better and stronger person than I was previously. I can even tell how my perspective has changed, through the music that I have loved and have listened to. It is a great feeling and I will continue this for the rest of my life.

My quote for the day

Life is all about risks and it requires you to jump. Do not be a person who has to look back and wonder what they would have or could have had. No one waits forever.

A comfortable life is not a life at all. Living is all in the moment and taking risks. Putting yourself in new and challenging situations is how we grow. Even if it is not by choice, if you are taking the world as it comes to you, then you are growing. And life is about growth. Regrets are one thing, but not taking chances is even worse. I want to live a life where I am challenged and where I jump into a pool of uncertainty. I have not gone in too deep yet, so I am going to continue to jump in. Everyday and in everyway.

It’s a great day to take a chance and grow!

Thought for the day: All the Difference..

A smile can make all the difference.

I experienced this yesterday in a few different instances and each time, I felt better afterward. It is amazing that someone that you know nothing about can change a feeling or an emotion that you have (even if only for an instance) and can completely impact your day.

I have a theory about smiling at strangers. Providing the warmth that a smile contributes to a complete stranger is something that is rare but yet powerful. I tried my theory out one day walking down the pedestrian mall. The majority of people who I smiled at, smiled back at me. And receiving such positive feedback from people who have no idea who you are or what you are about is an excellent feeling.

My theory then is to pay it forward. I like receiving smiles from strangers. I like making a connection with a person that I do not know now but that might have a big impact in my future. Even if I never see the person ever again, why not have a positive interaction with them, rather than an adequate stare? Smiling is easy and smiling is effective.

And so, I smile when I can. I smile to people I make eye contact with and with people that i might just glance at. Who knows how their day is going or what they are feeling. Sometimes, a smile can make all the difference.

Quote for the week

Sometimes there are things in our life that aren’t meant to stay. Sometimes change may not be what we want. Somtimes change is what we really need. And sometimes saying goodbye is the hardest thing you think you’ll ever have to do, but sometimes it’s saying ‘hello again’ that breaks you dwon and makes you the most vulnerable person you’ll ever know. Sometimes change is too much to bear, but most of the time change is the only thing saving your life.

My advisor once said that change is growth. It was simple and yet a perfect representation of what change is in my life. I have never been a fan of change because I like routines. I have found that I thrive when things are in my control and when I have the opportunity to choose where I am going.

But this is not realistic. The world changes without our approval on a second by second basis and so, we have to accept the fact that we are not in control. And once we accept change, then we can embrace it and thrive on the change.

It is quite simple. Sometimes, change is everything.